Yesterday at Eton College’s New Boys’ Service, Headmaster Simon Henderson read aloud a passage from Kahlil Gibran’s On Children.
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
These words, written a century ago, still resonate deeply today. They remind us of a truth that is both humbling and liberating: children are entrusted to our care, but they are not ours to keep.
The Bow and the Arrow
Later in the passage, Gibran likens parents to bows and children to arrows:
“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”
The image is vivid. A bow’s task is to be steady, flexible, and strong enough to send the arrow into flight. Yet once released, the arrow must find its own path through the air.
As parents and educators, we can nurture, guide, and steady our children. We can teach them to think critically, to act responsibly, and to aim high. But in the end, they must become their own people – free to discover, to succeed, to stumble, and to rise again.
Why This Matters in Education
At Bonas MacFarlane, this philosophy shapes everything we do. Our role is not to mould children into replicas of our own ambitions, but to help them uncover and pursue their own aspirations.
- Through one-to-one mentoring, we listen, support, and empower each student to explore what excites them.
- Through personalised Higher Education strategies, we help them navigate the complexity of global university choices with confidence.
- Through seminars for parents and staff, we encourage the adults around students to provide guidance, while also learning when to step back.
Just as the bow bends to send forth the arrow, we aim to provide direction without confinement, strength without restriction, and belief without control.
A Shared Journey
The start of a new school year is a reminder of this delicate balance. We care passionately for our students, we invest in their every thought and endeavour, but we must also let them go, into schools, universities, careers, and lives that will often exceed our imagination.
Gibran’s words challenge us: are we willing to let our children belong to themselves? Can we, as parents, teachers, and mentors, provide the strength and direction of the bow while trusting in the flight of the arrow?
At Bonas MacFarlane, we believe the answer must be yes.